​One of the first things I do with each client I work with is help them identify their values.
 
Values are different than goals. They are the qualities that we live by in life. While goals are helpful to have (in therapy and in life), values are flexible and help us adapt to obstacles and setbacks along the way while still feeling like we are living a full and meaningful life.

“So, I’m your depression. I’m that lost 'what the heck is the meaning of life' feeling we’ve been talking about."

A long, hesitant pause. “Okay.”

“Okay. So imagine there is a big hole between us - a big, endless void. And we’re on either side of it, in a tug of war.” I tug my end of the small rope I had handed to her earlier, when she signed on to try something a little different in therapy today. “It’s been going on as long as you can remember. This sadness pulls you in like a magnet. It’s pulling and pulling.” I keep gently tugging on the rope. “You’re exhausted, of course. Who wouldn’t be? So here you are, and you are tugging back, trying to gain the upper ground.”